Monday, April 11, 2011
Dear me and my friends,
as you grow older, you tend to realize that things change. the big things, the small things ,big become small, small turn bigger…haha. whatever. they just do. you'll realize that in 5 years down the road, your favorite “kedai siam NZ” will no longer be there, and you then develop a liking for laksa, and for me and my lovely housemates, one stop soup cafe place is our favourite now! me no longer café angah…no longer hostel life in our final year..others friends?? we separates by place and times. everybody is busy.. so driven. so motivated. its hard to slack. not that i want to of course, im just saying its great stuff. no one wants to get left behind. through academic, practicum, examinations and thesis pressure.
you evolve, you grow, you explore, you close, you become cautious, you turn a little bitter, you love a lot more. things like that.
but of course, 4 months away have changed a lot of things. and i'm still trying my best to grasp on things. in time i learnt that, some things are better left unknown. selfish as that may seem, it only keeps the optimism flowing. Left all bad things between us behind.2010, go already. make way for final year 2011, hopefully filled with much more love, honesty and trust between me and my friend as that have the “grey hair” is still my besties.
the badminton court still there..still same, I can see a shadow of my juniors playing there , but me??? Maybe once a week if I’m lucky… if not, maybe once a month. Not like 4 years ago, the court was only for me n my friends. Every day, every evening, or maybe every night if nothing stops us, we will be there. Smashing, running, stepping, sweating, jumping, the court just made for us. I can feels my soul there… but now? I’m just like alien on earth. Nobody know me, n nobody that I know playing there….
as time goes by, about five years in indera kayangan, favorite people aren't my favorite anymore. why its change??because its can change...and for a pretty gurl (not our batch) that I will never forget, im sorry for a things that i wish i could have fixed earlier, but i guess thats not for me to say. after all, everything happens for a reason, no ?
everybody was matured enough…not same during we were in foundation programme, PPISMP, or KPLSPM…sometin like that…Whichever. you come to a point in life when you realize not everything is fixable. not everything can be mended and not every hurt can be fully healed. scars will be obvious, memories will haunt you back. there.
this is what the mess does to you. you learn that not every single one of us is perfect. and that everyone makes mistakes and no one is an exception to that rule. the idea is to see through their imperfections and take something good out of it.
one year left hasn't been much. a paradigm shift took place. i have developed this new thick skin that enables me to become a tad bit stronger than the year before. being away from your comfort zone may not mean much to some people, but it was a big deal for me. and it still is.
whole part of me is ready in kangar now. for last few months. to score a few more goals, and bring back the scroll. so it all can come to end.
so it all can come to END..